Ask Redd White

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tastefullyoffensive:

[theawkwardyeti]

oh my gosh! this is too funny, I can’t stop laughing at this.

tastefullyoffensive:

[theawkwardyeti]

oh my gosh! this is too funny, I can’t stop laughing at this.

(Source: larstheyeti)

Hey redd. I know it's late but how did you spend your New Year's Eves??

At home. I had to read that new novel about A boy who goes to Atlantis, you? How did you spend NYE?

Ha ha Messi pulling up his shirt to reveal sailor mercury shirt.

Ha ha Messi pulling up his shirt to reveal sailor mercury shirt.

(Source: hauteclere)

Well I can make it the same color as your suit along with sparkles. But I you want it a clock, the inside will be filled with the clockworks. If you want it a safe, the statue is one and a half feet so there won't be a lot of room inside it. I need your final opinion before I start.

you can do whatever you want, you’re idea is really good to being with, go ahead.

Nov 7

Hello, Mr. White. How would I go about getting a job with your company?

Anonymous

You can, you get 401k, insurance, etc. Etc. Sign up.

Nov 5

Mr. White. I just feel silly now. I had no idea Miss May did that to everyone. My apologies for wasting your time.

Anonymous

Oh don’t worry about a thing, I was bored anyway. Keep asking.

Nov 5

Mr. White, in response to the previous letter. First, Miss May got uncomfortably close to me. She squished her breasts into my face then kissed me on the cheek. Is she normally that seductive or is this totally new?

Anonymous

She’s always like this to every guy to feel uncomfortable, she does that to me too, how do you going to do about it?

Nov 4

Mr. White, I must inform you that one of your employees, a "Miss April May" has sexually harassed me. Do you punish your employees for such misconduct, or do I have to just deal with it?

Anonymous

I punish them, tell them not to do it again, what did she do to you.

Nov 4

Mr. White, one of my friends thinks you're romantically involved with Ms. May, and another thinks you're into guys. Crazy, huh? Are either of those true?

Anonymous

It’s true I’m in love with April, the gay stuff is for the crazy female fans both could be true

Nov 1

The end of Halloween. Hope to celebrate that next year, hope you don’t feel sick today from stuffing your face with candy aha aha aha aha aha aha. Did you see my proctologist Dr. Seymore Butts aha aha aha aha aha.